> Lisette Atkinson Case #76 Masculinity Work and Education

Educating Boys

September 30, 2026

Educating Boys

As parents of three sons, Matthew and I have often reflected on the influences shaping them. These have changed as they have grown, from family to peers, teachers and media. Along the way there have also been family friends and church leaders. In all these stages they have absorbed the messages shared verbally and by example. The strongest relationships have had the greatest impact.

In a culture saturated with images of success, students need support to learn from their efforts without losing heart at the smallest sign of failure or criticism. They need humility to learn from success and mistakes, and courage to keep trying. Positive support from home and from those who are in positions to influence them makes this process seamless. They need to know they are heard and understood, to be encouraged to persevere, knowing that there are people on their side who will be honest with them and work with them. Boys are more likely than girls to take risks in different situations, and these support structures give them the opportunity to discuss possible scenarios before making choices.

I am currently blessed to work in an Anglican boys’ school which takes character development seriously. In the last decade there has been a lot of discussion about negative views of masculinity. We have found that being told what not to do has less impact than being given positive guidance about what good masculinity looks like. As a secondary teacher I aim to both educate students in my subject area and to encourage them to develop and mature into young men of positive character—setting high expectations, giving explicit guidance and clear boundaries and providing opportunities to live what has been shared. The challenges and experiences extended will be most formative when the student is known, understood and ready to accept input. They are more likely to engage with someone they respect and who they feel authentically prioritises their best interests. I pay attention to what interests them. I coach sporting teams and attend drama and music performances to recognise the boy beyond the classroom. These interactions help me understand what matters to my students and allows them to recognise that I am interested in who they are.

Our pastoral care groups have a vertical structure comprising students from Year 7 to Year 12. We provide opportunities for relationship development, older students mentoring younger students, structured lessons in character development by staff and senior students and opportunities for real service to others in a variety of settings. These lessons are based on biblical principles, and while not all students have faith in Christ, all are asked to consider on what they will base their guiding principles and how they will decide what form their moral compass will take. Older boys lead discussion about examples drawn from sportsmen and popular culture. They then generalise to scenarios that might happen realistically at school or in their personal lives. Having older peers involved in activities allows incidental side-to-side communication, which provides opportunities for conversations which might otherwise be awkward if formally mandated.

We also aim to keep them busy and therefore hopefully out of mischief. All students are expected to participate in sport, and many participate in other extra-curricular activities as well. In all these programmes staff and ex-students are modelling and teaching positive sportsman-like behaviour and attitudes. Positive masculinity is ‘caught’ as much as it is ‘taught’.

Early in my teaching career I had a particularly difficult student. In discussion with my parents one day, my father asked me if I had prayed for him. I acknowledged I had not and began to pray for the student from time to time. It did not change the student, but it did change the way that I approached him. Gradually, I tried to understand his behaviour and how I might influence his approach to class. Since then, I have tried to remember this.

‘Pray for them.’

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Lisette is married to Matthew and teaches mathematics at Shore School in North Sydney. They have three boys, and attend St Matthew's Anglican Church, Manly.